broken promises:(

OK, I know I promised pictures, but I'm just so tired! For whatever reason, it takes a long time to load them, and let's face it, patience is not my thing. Anyway, we've all had a great week! The kids are loving school, Kacey's loving Mother's Day out and playing with Granna, and I've had a good week as well. (By the way I learned today how bad the low carb diets are. DON"T Do IT!! Also, just b/c it says sugar free, it may not be. Something about changing a sugar to an alcohol to call it sugar free, but ultimately your body get rids of the hydroxyl ion.....turning it back into sugar....I realize that I don't know nuttin bout nuttin but doesn't this sound dangerous for diabetics???? Anyway, I'm glad some knowledge was retained today. I'm sure I will impart more random information soon:)

Dry eyes.

Hello to all. I know I promised pictures, but it's nearly midnight and it will have to wait. We're all feeling better today. Still moments of sadness, but healing is happening. I'm happy to report that E and J had another great day at school. Me to Jacey, "What was your favorite part of the day" Jacey's response...."parachute." Me to Ethan, "What was your favorite part of the day?" Ethan's response....."EVERYTHING!" Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that Jacey and I will be fine. Also, thank you all for the well wishes and good thoughts! Pictures soon:)

You're gonna need kleenex....SERIOUSLY, get the kleenex

I began my day this morning at 1am with Ethan. (He gets pretty bad nosebleeds, and this time of year is prime time for him.) Anyway, nosebleed 1am, tummy ache at 1:30am, said he doesn't think he should go to school around 2 am, back to the bathroom at 2:15 crying with tummy pains and works himself into such a tizzy that he breaks out in hives and nose blocks off. Benedryll at 2:30. Scratching and crying b/c he can't breathe through his nose. 3 am I'm nearly crying b/c I'm VERY tired and second guessing myself about the whole school thing. 3:30 E's feeling better and asking if he can get dressed for school. FINALLY at 4 am we both go to sleep. Up at 6:30 am -thanks to my responsible Jacey. Make 1st day pancakes and literally peel Ethan out of bed and place him, still asleep, in his chair. He eats with his eyes closed and then says, is today the day? He went from asleep to dressed in about 2 seconds! (Anxiety is a very real thing. Even when we say we're OK and excited about a change, sometimes we're not.) Anyway, they both had a great first day and can't wait to go back tomorrow.

When we got home my anxiety had caught up with me and I needed tummy acid medicine REALLY BAD. (I remained composed for the day- weepy, but no tears. Good for me.) I went to leave the house and Jasper kitty ran in. I picked him up, loved on him a little and put him in the garage. Well, I went to back up, thinking he was in the garage, and accidentally backed over him. He died instantly. I have never felt so bad about anything in my life. Needless to say, I fell apart. THANKFULLY NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS! The kids were playing in the pool and didn't know what had happened. Jason took care of the remains and had to tell me to get it together. (Which didn't happen.) Anyway, went to the drug store to get the now necessary antacid. Got home to my precious Jacey innocently playing and having somewhat of a perfect day. Through tears, I sat her down and told her about the accident. She teared up and I asked her if she could forgive me. She calmly took off her pink towel and wiped away my tears and said with a broken voice, "Mama, that happens with cars sometimes." She crawled up in my lap and cried and cried. We sat there and cried together and felt every bit of that horrible sadness. In that moment I wanted to give her ice cream, ponies, sports cars, boxes of kittens.............anything to make the pain stop, but we had to feel it. That stinks! I wish so much it hadn't happened. Jason told her we would get her another one. She said she didn't want to think about it. Then after a pause, she said, "well, I have always wanted a rabbit." You know, I didn't give her credit. I just knew she would be beyond angry with me. And even though it was an accident, I would have completely understood. Jacey said her heart hurts and I told her mine does too. Later she asked me if my heart was feeling better and I told her it was a little better and she said hers was too. We'll be fine. I am soooooooooo thankful if was not a child. I thought I knew where the cat was, but it happened so fast. Accidents are accidents. I hate that it happened. I'm so proud of how she handled herself and how she handled her mother! The hard part now is having to resist the urge to over compensate. There's a fine line between extra compassion and ice cream, ponies, sports cars, boxes of kittens..............

I'll post pictures tomorrow. Between the 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night and the stress of the day, I'm beat. Go hug your kids and tell them you love them.

10 hours and counting........

10 hours until I drop off my precious Ethan and Jacey for their first day of first grade. They are both very excited. Jacey has thanked us all day for signing them up for school. On the way home from church she asked me how to spell school. When we got in the door she handed me a folded note. (The picture is posted.)For those of you not familiar with 6 yr old phonetic spelling, the note reads: Thank you for signing us up for school. Thank you my dear. I hope they are this enthusiastic 7am tomorrow:) Backpacks are packed and lunches are ready. I'm doing really well. I think the 6 years at home have taken their toll. A big part of me wishes we were homeschooling again this year, but I'm so excited for them and me. I'll do my best to post tomorrow night with cute pics.

Kacey's First Day

How cute is this kid???? She has all the independence and confidence in the world. She would have gone in without me if I would have let her! The teacher said she had a great day and lots of fun. Her favorite part was the monkey lunch box.

Rehab update

To update on Jacey's habit...... She is doing really well. She almost never does it during the day. It's when I check on her in the middle of the night that she's doing it. It's just innate. It's almost like telling her not to dream at night. We've been putting the bitter nail polish on, but it isn't strong enough to wake her up. Anyway, thanks for all the advice. Especially the very personal one from Dr. Phil.